Drumbeat please....

and the answer is?!

Thanks.

But no thanks.

The last couple of days, as I've weighed this opportunity, I've been wanting--desperately--to say yes. And if it were sponsored by a reputable production company or a university or basically anyone I could sue, I'd be so all over it. But as is, "Quest for the Code" is a wholly independent documentary, which worries me if we're going to be running around Israel and Egypt, poking our heads into religious shrines/places of interest ("Hi! Don't mind us as we seek to potentially undermine deeply held religious tenets...oh, and ignore all the cameras...how are you today?"). Further, it's being assembled by people with a distinct opinion on a very controversial manner (the exec producer is involved with this organization).

All in, there were too many uncertainties and I didn't want to be a part of a project that may have had an ulterior motive.

So I passed.

Crap. Think it's too late to change my mind??

Anyways, thinking through this decision was a great exercise is self exploration. My thought process took me back to one of the very reasons I went into acting--to live an interesting life. I remember when I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, I sooo wanted to be Indiana Jones--and so, by extension, Harrison Ford. I quickly realized, however, that Harrison Ford was not Indiana Jones, and I was forced to ask myself: do I want to be Indy? running around the world, exploring history and escaping the bad guys? Or do I want to be an actor? Umm...INDY!! But then Mom and Dad woke me up for school and off I went. I realized that though I could maybe (maybe maybe) someday be Indy, or Bruce Wayne, or Neo (well, I am Neo, actually) the only way I could be all of them was to be an actor. But this was an opportunity to be Indy himself. And so yeah...it was tough to pass up. CRAP CRAP. WHAT WAS I THINKING??

Anyways, thanks to all of you who commented/emailed/called with thoughts/opinions/advice.

Apologies for ignoring all of it.

Also, thanks in advance for putting up with my "what the hell was I thinking when I said no" tantrums.

Quest for the Code

"'QUEST FOR THE CODE' (HEREAFTER, QFTC) IS A DOCUMENTARY FILM PROJECT THAT WILL INVESTIGATE DAN BROWN’S BOOK, THE DA VINCI CODE. THE QFTC PARTICIPANTS WILL BE SENT ON AN INTERNATIONAL TRIP, WITH VISITS INCLUDING FRANCE, ITALY, ISRAEL, AND EGYPT...."

So, my first reaction was "WOW. That sounds awesome. May as well apply". One long application, a fun 5 min video in which I tried to get kicked off the grounds of a Morman church (not really, but kinda), and a $36 FedEx overnight charge later, my reaction is "WOW...THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!"--because I got it.

All expenses paid, with a per diem and a stipend.

Are.
You.
Kidding me??

Problem is, now I'm not sure I want to go. I know...what am I thinking? Life experience wise, it'd be a phenomal once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience. And if I were still working at eBay I'd be packing by now. BUT, I have to look at this through the acting lens and ask myself--"is it worth the opportunity cost?" Thing is, I'm not sure.

I've been chatting with friends in the business to get their perspectives, and they are fairly split. The general consensus is that few people make the jump from documentaries/reality TV into acting. The way I see it (acting wise):

Upside--extended time in front of cameras, potential for great exposure in a few months time (especially with the movie coming out)
Downside--I lose three critical weeks I could spend trying to find an agent (which is key for Pilot season in January), going to auditions, and generally moving my acting career forward here in LA.

At this point, I'd like to open it up for comments, cause I'm @#$@ torn!

Etc.

It's been a while since I've been helpful to would-be actors. My past few entries have been about "me, me, me", and though these entries have been like therapy sessions, I realize I need to remember my charter: convince other would-be actors to STAY AWAY FROM LA.

Commercial classes

I started Craig Colvin's commercial class on Tuesday, and so far I dig it. Craig, who is a commercial casting director (CD) in LA, co-teaches it with an actress who's "day job" the last 25 years has been running commercial auditions. The first class was all about how each of us is pre-judged before we open our mouth. It was kinda like the "type me" session I wrote about earlier (through The Actor's Network), but this one was more commercially focused (apparently, I'd be a great spokesperson for Shell's "endangered turtle" campaign). Nine more classes to go...I'll keep you posted.

Auditions

I was averaging roughly two auditions a week. I then stopped submitting myself for student films. Now I have zero auditions a week. Hmmm......

Honestly, I think this is the better way to go...I'm starting to market myself to television shows and pilots and feature length films, and though I won't be auditioning as much, when I do get an audition it'll be for something that will really help my career. Now, if I had an agent, I'd be going to two or three of these kinda auditions a week....I know, I'm working on it.

Etc.

In other news, I'm still taking classes at the Howard Fine studio, and we've moved on to doing scenes. When I went up last Friday for my first scene, I'm happy to say that I got confirmation that I don't suck. In fact, I think I even surprised Howard a bit, because until scene work I wasn't really giving the class 100% (if you ever find this blog, Howard, please don't hate me). It's nice, cause now I have people asking to be my scene partner....

I've also started a sailing class, which with my guitar and two acting classes give me a pretty full schedule. Yes, life is good....but...it also feels a bit empty.

Which will be what I get into next time (warning...it'll be another "me, me, me" entry...but relevant, because I imagine many actors go through it).

Scratch that

Due to scheduling issues (or so the directors say), I'll no longer be in the student short I talked about in my last entry (ha...maybe they found this blog....)

I'm kinda bummed because I was starting to get excited about it, but honestly, I'm glad to have my time back.

What does more time for me mean for you?? More blog entries.

HEY, be nice...that's a good thing.

I booked a lead role in a short student film...

...and kinda wish I didn't. I know, it sounds lame, but I'm being serious. Lemme back up:

I got a voicemail on Saturday afternoon that I was pretty excited about. I had landed the lead role in a student short playing an interesting character in a fast paced, cute story (btw, the character is Portuguese...'Sundeep' is playing 'Marcelo'...ha!). The film is going to be professionally shot, has a decent budget, and is festival bound (meaning I should hopefully get some exposure). Though it's unpaying ("copy/credit/meals", where meals is usually defined as "cheap pizza"), it'll be good for my reel and a nice payoff for all the auditions I have been doing.

BUT.

The past few days, I've realized (remembered?) that acting in ambitious films is a no joke commitment--and it's taking away from time I could spend doing other, potentially more important acting related things (the list is looong). It's also taking away time from more important non acting things--like, say, making money. After a little cost-benefit analysis, I've realized I need to sharpen my focus here in Hollywood. No more auditioning for student films or non-paying gigs unless I really, really believe in the project (or I get to show off my brilliantly smashing British accent). I have a reel, I have headshots, and I have talent (damn it!); what I need is exposure, and that is gained by getting in front of the right people (agents, casting directors) and going after higher profile roles (the next 007?).

I'm sure you're thinking (cause I'm thinking) "why not just say no?" Well, these are students working on their thesis film who have been casting for a while, looking for the right person (as it turns out, only 1 person from Portugal emigrates to the US every 100 years). To be honest, they didn't even give me an option to say no; they sort of assumed I would do it (btw, if you are one of the two "they", please don't leave a nasty comment...I'm just being honest here...I love the script...really....).

Anyways, I start filming next week, and am going to be the best damn Portuguese bakery owner that ever lived. But, starting today, I'm gonna start aiming higher. Cause I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And gosh darnit', copy/credit/pizza doesn't cover rent!