Drumbeat please....
and the answer is?!
Thanks.
But no thanks.
The last couple of days, as I've weighed this opportunity, I've been wanting--desperately--to say yes. And if it were sponsored by a reputable production company or a university or basically anyone I could sue, I'd be so all over it. But as is, "Quest for the Code" is a wholly independent documentary, which worries me if we're going to be running around Israel and Egypt, poking our heads into religious shrines/places of interest ("Hi! Don't mind us as we seek to potentially undermine deeply held religious tenets...oh, and ignore all the cameras...how are you today?"). Further, it's being assembled by people with a distinct opinion on a very controversial manner (the exec producer is involved with this organization).
All in, there were too many uncertainties and I didn't want to be a part of a project that may have had an ulterior motive.
So I passed.
Crap. Think it's too late to change my mind??
Anyways, thinking through this decision was a great exercise is self exploration. My thought process took me back to one of the very reasons I went into acting--to live an interesting life. I remember when I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, I sooo wanted to be Indiana Jones--and so, by extension, Harrison Ford. I quickly realized, however, that Harrison Ford was not Indiana Jones, and I was forced to ask myself: do I want to be Indy? running around the world, exploring history and escaping the bad guys? Or do I want to be an actor? Umm...INDY!! But then Mom and Dad woke me up for school and off I went. I realized that though I could maybe (maybe maybe) someday be Indy, or Bruce Wayne, or Neo (well, I am Neo, actually) the only way I could be all of them was to be an actor. But this was an opportunity to be Indy himself. And so yeah...it was tough to pass up. CRAP CRAP. WHAT WAS I THINKING??
Anyways, thanks to all of you who commented/emailed/called with thoughts/opinions/advice.
Apologies for ignoring all of it.
Also, thanks in advance for putting up with my "what the hell was I thinking when I said no" tantrums.
Thanks.
But no thanks.
The last couple of days, as I've weighed this opportunity, I've been wanting--desperately--to say yes. And if it were sponsored by a reputable production company or a university or basically anyone I could sue, I'd be so all over it. But as is, "Quest for the Code" is a wholly independent documentary, which worries me if we're going to be running around Israel and Egypt, poking our heads into religious shrines/places of interest ("Hi! Don't mind us as we seek to potentially undermine deeply held religious tenets...oh, and ignore all the cameras...how are you today?"). Further, it's being assembled by people with a distinct opinion on a very controversial manner (the exec producer is involved with this organization).
All in, there were too many uncertainties and I didn't want to be a part of a project that may have had an ulterior motive.
So I passed.
Crap. Think it's too late to change my mind??
Anyways, thinking through this decision was a great exercise is self exploration. My thought process took me back to one of the very reasons I went into acting--to live an interesting life. I remember when I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, I sooo wanted to be Indiana Jones--and so, by extension, Harrison Ford. I quickly realized, however, that Harrison Ford was not Indiana Jones, and I was forced to ask myself: do I want to be Indy? running around the world, exploring history and escaping the bad guys? Or do I want to be an actor? Umm...INDY!! But then Mom and Dad woke me up for school and off I went. I realized that though I could maybe (maybe maybe) someday be Indy, or Bruce Wayne, or Neo (well, I am Neo, actually) the only way I could be all of them was to be an actor. But this was an opportunity to be Indy himself. And so yeah...it was tough to pass up. CRAP CRAP. WHAT WAS I THINKING??
Anyways, thanks to all of you who commented/emailed/called with thoughts/opinions/advice.
Apologies for ignoring all of it.
Also, thanks in advance for putting up with my "what the hell was I thinking when I said no" tantrums.
posted by sundeep at 2:45 PM
2 Comments:
Hey Sundeep. While we were decidedly disheartened to have you say 'no' to this opportunity, it sounds like you made the best decision for yourself (which is all that matters at the end of the day). And while the blanket organization pooling monies is IRR, everything you were told about this being an objective program predicated on freedom of thought was entirely truthful and representative...we really want (and have) diverse people involved (atheists, catholics etc) because it's too simple in life to claim only two sides to an issue (right and wrong) often based on some youthfully-determined moral/religious imperative. I mean, if we really wanted to have a rip-roarin'-Jesus-praisin'-Dan Brown-is-going-to-Hell type of documentary we would have cast a bunch of malleable, undereducated, likeminded individuals. Thankfully this is not the case.
But what's done is done. Best of luck to you with the upcoming barrage of pilots. You have definite potential.
Dude, that previous comment notwithstanding, you had a tough decision to make, you made it, and therefore it was the right decision. Don't waste time or mental energy re-thinking it over and over again. Even if you don't end up with an agent or a pilot, you will still advance yourself and your career during the time you would have been away. Regrets never change anything, they just drain your energy.
Remember, after you've made it as an actor, you can travel anywhere in the Middle East (and the world) where you want. Maybe even to film a movie. --AM
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